Not That Magical: Voodoo Doughnut

Voodoo Doughnut is a Portland institution, but, as we all know, institutions aren't always purveyors of a city's best food.  Nevertheless, most of the time, a line snakes out of Voodoo Doughnut.

Believe it or not, we still had room to eat after our dinner at Beast, so we headed to Voodoo Doughnut with our new young doppelganger friends.

Lucky for all of us, the line was pretty short.  There's no way I'd wait in the lines we saw during the day.

Especially now that I've tasted the donuts.

At least some of them were cute?  At least they made for fun photos?  At least our new friends treated us?  (So nice, those kids!)

Our new sidekicks got a Tex-Ass Challenge (a giant doughnut equivalent to six doughnuts) and The Loop for themselves.

They were such sweethearts and bought us our giant box of donuts to thank us for driving them around.  We meet the coolest people!

After we dropped our dinner companions off at their hotel, we headed back to our own room to sample our pink box offerings.

The Loop -- raised yeast doughnut with vanilla frosting and Froot Loops.

So adorable but so disappointing!  The loops had lost all of their crunch.  The doughnut was limp.

Voodoo Doll -- raised yeast doughnut filled with raspberry jelly topped with chocolate frosting and a pretzel stake.

WTF?  This was supposed to look like the Voodoo Doughnut logo.  Go scroll up and look at the neon sign at the top of this post.  FAIL.

McMinnville Cream -- raised yeast doughnut filled with Bavarian cream with maple frosting on top and two eyeballs and a mustache.

This li'l guy got a tad mangled in the box, but I still thought he was so cute.  This doughnut was decent.

Bacon Maple Bar --raised yeast doughnut with maple frosting and bacon on top.

Best doughnut in the box.  It was the only one that we actually finished.  The truth is we ate only one or two bites of the others.

Cock-N-Balls -- raised yeast doughnut triple filled with Bavarian cream and topped with chocolate frosting.

Ok.  I got this one just to photograph it.  It was filled with cream, people.  So gross.  So funny.

Maple Blazer Blunt -- raised yeast doughnut rolled into a blunt, dusted with cinnamon sugar, and dipped in maple frosting with red sprinkle embers.

Great photo op (complete with the Kimpton hotel chain's signature animal-print robe).  Terrible taste.  Dry.  Blech.

Voodoo Doughnut is not really worth a visit unless you go with new foodie friends who treat when the line is short.  The doughnuts really don't impress.

Fried Dough Factory: Doughnut Plant

After stuffing our mouths with meatballs, we sought some sweets. Not far was Doughnut Plant. Time for sugary breakfast treats for dessert!

We were lucky that there were only four people in line when we got there. By the time we finished noshing on our fresh-baked doughy delights, the queue snaked out the door.

Fresh peach lemonade and iced coffee ($3.00 each).

Light, tart, and sunny. Strong, cold, and creamy.

Fresh peach ($2.25).

Not heavy. Not too sweet. Flecked with real fruit. Almost...healthy. Kinda.

Peanut butter and blackberry jam ($2.75).

So peanut buttery. So jammy. So other-worldly. Fave fave fave.

Crème brûlée ($3.00)

Disappointingly tiny but beautifully torched and filled with custardy goodness.

A sweet end to our New York City cheap eats weekend.

Do You Know The Donut Man?

Do you know The Donut Man,
The Donut Man, The Donut Man?
Do you know The Donut Man
Who lives all the way out in the middle of nowhere Glendora?

Yes, I know The Donut Man,
The Donut Man, The Donut Man.
Yes, I know The Donut Man,
And his strawberry donuts are the best.

Brunch and Baked Goods at Bouchon

We had brunch at Bouchon at the Venetian during both our December and April trips to Las Vegas. This post memorializes both visits.

Note the Christmas tree in the background. Yes, it was December.

You will never forget where you are dining.

Every plate reminds you.

Beignets du jour -- house-made spiced doughnuts with Bouchon Bakery jam and Nutella spread ($7).

Enjoyable but nothing at all like the hot deep-fried wonders at Cafe du Monde in New Orleans. As promised by the menu, these were "just" French spiced doughnuts. If that's what you expect, you'll be pleased enough. I used the Nutella liberally.

Omelette du jour -- spicy chorizo, spinach, cheese ($17).


Simple but lovely. No need for our usual Tabasco for this egg dish.

Steak and eggs Benedict ($26.95).

Morning decadence on an English muffin. Big fat meaty eggy yum.

Side of potatoes accompanying the Benedict.

As the Lucky Charms leprechaun would say, these were magically delicious. Like they're-always-after-me-lucky-potatoes delicious. Like oh-my-God-why-are-these-so-good delicious. Like facking-derishus delicious.

When the Oros said they had breakfast cravings during our April weekend together, we knew exactly where to go. Back to Bouchon!

Raspberry beignets ($7).


Fancy jelly donuts never tasted so good.

Omelette du jour -- Dungeness crab, cherry tomato, spinach, cheddar ($17).

Another hit, although Mrs. Oro did shake some Tabasco on it.

Breakfast Américaine -- two eggs any style served with bacon, country sausage, pommes frites, toasted brioche, choice of a breakfast pastry, fresh juice, and Bouchon blend coffee ($22). (Fries, juice, and coffee not pictured.)

Bouchon's version of a Grand Slam -- way more awesome than Denny's version, as it should be, given the price. We all shared Mr. Oro's strawberry croissant, which was more like a crumble than a croissant. Crumble, croissant, who cares? It was the equivalent of breakfast candy, and that made us all very happy.

Chicken and waffles -- roasted chicken, bacon and chive waffle, Tahitian vanilla bean butter, Sauce Chasseur, maple syrup ($25).

I liked Mr. Monkey's dish the most. The chicken was exquisite -- so juicy, tender, and well-seasoned. Loved it with the Sauce Chasseur, but it didn't even need it. The waffles were the star, though. Slightly salty and paired with Vanilla butter and syrup, they were perfection.

Oeuf du jour -- creamy grits, prosciutto, English peas, piquillo peppers, scrambled eggs, fine herb Hollandaise ($26).

When I see grits, I order grits. These may have been the hoity-toity-est grits I've ever had. And, in case you don't speak French, oeuf du jour means "egg of the day." Good stuff, but the chicken and waffles stole my heart.

Bouchon French toast -- bread pudding-style with warm layers of brioche, custard, apples, and served with maple syrup ($12).

You can get this as your meal, but we opted to share one for dessert. Genius! I think it would be far too sweet for a main course. Split between the four of us, however, it worked wonderfully -- a few sugary bites to cap off a splendid brunch.

After brunch, we headed downstairs to the bakery to pick up some goodies to go.

It's not hard to guess what was bought from this bakery.