Wednesday, October 8, 2008


(1) Nonfat milk next to sweeteners and stirrers is for -- shocker -- coffee!
Bitch, you and your cereal need to go back to the cafeteria and buy a carton of milk. Don't spend five minutes pumping itty-bitty squirts into your giant bowl of Raisin Bran. Stop blocking me from my soy. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.

(2) Leaving a scary note with poor English on a girl's car is not attractive.
observations 001
It is even less attractive if you are dirty, scuzzy, mistaken for a bum, riding a bike in the parking lot of Noodle City, and have a (909) area code. (We found this on Capri's windshield after lunch. It was clearly meant for her and her sexy trouser shorts, not for me.)

(3) This person is a douchebag.
observations 003
It's simply not enough to brag about one school. It's so important for the world to know about both schools that a custom license plate frame must be fashioned.


  1. I'm SO glad you have a router again.

  2. I'm glad too.

    I hope the Yale/UCLA douche forgets to change his tags this month and gets a ticket.

  3. This post just jump-started my morning!!! and you would have seen some fierce eyerolling on my part if i saw some girl trying to get milk out of the coffee area.

    and on a pathetic note- 90210 is starting to get good! hahaha

  4. Please do this kind of post more often. Thanks.

  5. That scuzzy guy must have nice legs after riding all the way from the 909 to Noodle City.

    And how else are people supposed to identify Ely Anderson as a member of the highly educated elite when he's rolling around in his Toyota?

    I got nothin' for annoying milk squirter.

  6. Hahaha, hilarious.

    Really just anything where people take far too long while someone else is waiting makes me want to scream at them. The milk example is only one of many ways that oblivious people annoy me.

  7. I just tried so hard not to blow my cover reading #3 by laughing out loud. What a tool!

    When I worked at Starbucks I saw a lot of #1. Even people having the audacity to ask for a cup, then pouring their kid a glass of milk.

  8. HA! Love this post... Especially the license plate frame. Especially if it was license plate guy who left the note on your friend's car!

  9. Omg, this is my favorite post.

  10. Favorite is number 3. Serious douche.

  11. I would have wanted to squirt that lady in the eye. Grrr.

    I've got to give creepy bike guy some props for 1) having the guts to say anything to someone who is clearly out of his league and 2) having a phone in the first place since he was mistaken for a bum and probably doesn't have a job or a car.

    Nice, Captain Douche.

  12. Oh. My. God. That note is hilarious. Did she remember the guy that said hi? If you're going to stalk someone to their call to ask them out on a date - try and use something a little more sophisticated than a crumpled piece of steno pad. Jeezus.

  13. He said hello to us as we shuffled quickly into Noodle City. We thought he was going to ask us for money!

  14. DUDE.....

    can people be any tackier???

  15. yeah, i would have wanted to smack the lady using the coffee milk for her cereal.

    that license plate is a riot.


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