Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Jam-Packed Day

This post may be totally disjointed and shabbily written, but it's been quite the day, filled with humiliation, frustration, and elation.

HUMILIATION
I covered a hearing bright and early at Stanley Mosk this morning. Being the dorkus maximus that I am, I was looking forward to using my magical get-in-the-front-of-the-security-line card. Alas, I just couldn't bring myself to do it with only two people in front of me.

Court-goers, here's a not-so-secret tip: Never enter on Hill. Use the entrances on 1st or Grand! No lines!

Anyway, as I was saying, I covered a hearing. To "cover" a hearing is to appear on behalf of one of your colleagues who, for whatever reason, can't make it. Thus, this wasn't actually my case, although I was well prepared, having read an informational memo, as well as the last several documents filed. Well, lo and behold, it turns out the stipulation filed last week in this case didn't have the language the Court wanted.

And what did Judge Judy (yeah, that's right -- she was that bitchy) make me do? She handed the bailiff the Code of Civil Procedure to give to me and told me to read the code section in front of the whole courtroom.

So embarrassing. And I didn't even write the damn stip! Grr.

The good part? Luckily, I'm a charmed monkey. The case was still dismissed. Whee.

FRUSTRATION
At about 4 p.m., I was on the phone with opposing counsel, discussing his defective notice of ruling on the demurrer hearing I attended yesterday. While I was on the phone, I could see King George calling on the other line. And then my red phone light came on. "You have voicemail." Because I was still on the phone, I let it be. Then I got five e-mails in a row from King George. And then King George actually came to my office and motioned to me to get off the phone. Oh, the madness of King George! (You knew that was coming. Har har.)

When I finished my call for the other case, I turned my attention to King George's barrage of messages. Apparently, opposing counsel on our gigantic case prematurely filed some stupid motion to compel documents.

Guess who was given the task of opposing this motion...to be filed tomorrow? Stupid wacky judge in N.D. Ill. and his stupid wacky [lack of a formal] briefing schedule. I guess it's "today" now. Bah. I didn't even have anything to do with the underlying discovery back-and-forth, but here I am. Motion Girl to the rescue! So bitter. So very very bitter. A certain somebody who has been handling all things discovery-related should've worked on this opposition. Not me. And you know it, too, you fucker. I hate you!

I spent the next five hours reading an old deposition and trying to piece together a chronology of past discovery discussions, as well as figuring out how to crush the other side, while knowing next to nothing about the documents at issue. All I could think of really is that the docs are protected by the attorney-client privilege, and plaintiffs failed to meet and confer with us first. Sad. But what do you expect when you give an assignment to someone who hasn't been working on this for the past several months? I'm still seething. I'm still not done. I'm still mad at fuckity fucker fuckface fuckhead.

ELATION
And now you ask, "How did the Monkey achieve elation after that profanity-inducing situation?" Concert time! Dashboard Confessional at the Orpheum! Front row of the mezzanine, baby! Yes, my friends, I really do live by two mantras I repeatedly reference in my blog: (1) work hard, play hard; and (2) sleep is for the weak.

This won't be a full-blown review, since I have to get up early tomorrow. (OK, I'm ignoring Mantra #2 now. Shut up.) But here are some pics and my take on the concert in list form:

(1) Chris Carrabba is the cutest little geeky tattooed guy ever. I love him so. I want to put him in my pocket and take him home and do terribly dirty things with him. And then, when I'm done with him, I want him to sing me to sleep.

(2) I loved the quasi-tribute to Jimmy Eat World before Dashboard went on. They played Bleed American from the beginning through "Hear You Me" before the lights dimmed. I thought this was awesome because the new Jimmy album came out today, and they were actually playing across town at The Wiltern tonight!

(3) The concert was almost all acoustic. Just Chris, his high voice, emo lyrics, and a guitar. Lots of old stuff. Lots of very loud crowd participation, as is the norm at Dashboard concerts.

(4) The BEST part of all -- Chris did a cover of Weezer's "El Scorcho," accompanied by all the members of the opening bands (John Ralston, Augustana, and Jack's Mannequin, none of whom I saw because I was at the office doing my damn opposition). I went totally apeshit. So great. It reminded me of when we saw Weezer with Dashboard as their opening band several years ago. So so so happy.

Elated, if you will. There's a second show tomorrow night. Goody.

13 comments:

  1. 'humiliation' and 'frustration' would have pissed me off beyond belief. sorry you got stuck with such a crappy assignment.

    but a huge YAY for a fun concert!

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  2. I'm laughing at the mental image of WeezerMONKEY going APEshit! I totally picture you as one of those girls on Ed Sullivan when the Beatles appeared.

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  3. "fuckity fucker fuckface fuckhead"

    that's my girl!

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  4. you make work hard and play harder =)

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  5. "as well as figuring out how to crush the other side" - favorite line in this post! loves it!

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  6. i just died at "fuckity fucker fuckface fuckhead". best.line.ever.

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  7. THAT WAS THE BEST LINE EVER!!! Hope the rest of your week is much, much better. :) I guess I'm a weakling...I sleep A LOT! :)

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  8. el scorcho must have been awesome to see covered! i like their 'night swimming' cover too.

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  9. I must use "fuckity fucker fuckface fuckhead" some time at work this week as a tribute to my favorite monkey.

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  10. just awesome! glad you had a happy ending.

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  11. I'm suddenly reminded of why I love your blog..

    Here it is... you ready?

    "fuckity fucker fuckface fuckhead."

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  12. OMG! If I would have known about this Dashboard show I would have totally been there! Hubs and I LOVE Dashboard!!

    But we are going to see Jimmy Eat World tomorrow. Whee!

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  13. You POOR POOR thimg - I homestly could mever be a litikaytor. I would die. Sleep really must be for the weak. Yikes.

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