Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Ms. Monkey, If You're Nasty

*****The Blog Party is in discussion. Check here to see how to get in.*****

I'm here at work, waiting for confirmation that my nasty letter was successfully faxed to eight other attorneys, and then I'm going home to rest up for a bright and early morning. I need to be in Irvine at 9 a.m. tomorrow. UGH.

What gives? Well, I received a strange fax this morning that informed me that the location of Ms. Thang's deposition had been changed.

Huh? Ms. Thang is being deposed? Jigga what? (And, yes, I actually uttered those last two words aloud when I read the fax. Super professional.)

This fax from Ms. Thang's counsel was the first I'd ever heard of the deposition. It turns out plaintiffs' counsel never served me a notice of deposition of Ms. Thang. Bitches!

Without going into detail, I called and basically read plaintiffs' counsel the riot act...in a calm and collected manner, of course. Now, normally, while most attorneys are indeed assholes, they do extend professional courtesies and know when to admit, "Hey, mea culpa." (That's the equivalent of "my bad," for you non-Latin-speaking folks.) This was a total mea culpa moment for plaintiffs' counsel. You forgot to serve us. Just admit it, and schedule the deposition for another date.

But no. He's not just an asshole. He's a stupid asshole. Other reasonable attorneys would've postponed the deposition, as clearly my client has been prejudiced in its preparation for this deposition in its defense of this matter. This guy? He claims he had no obligation serve us. Really? REALLY?! Ahem.

California Code of Civil Procedure section 2025.240(a) provides:
The party who prepares a notice of deposition shall give the notice to every other party who has appeared in the action. The deposition notice, or the accompanying proof of service, shall list all the parties or attorneys for parties on whom it is served.
Sorry, dude. You lose.

But not really. I lose. At least on a personal level.

The depo is still going forward tomorrow. Boooooo. Any judge will surely grant me another shot at asking Ms. Thang the questions I need to ask, but there's no getting around my having to go all the way to Irvine to this damn thing. And I thought this week was going to be easy. So much for watching The Biggest Loser and Beauty and the Geek. Looks like me and a buttload of documents tonight. Breach of contract. Fraud. Negligence. Breach of fiduciary duty. Injunctive relief. Argh. SO BORING. Harry Potter, this ain't.

At least I got to write a nasty letter. And, unlike plaintiffs' counsel, I sent it to counsel for all parties. How do you like that, bitch? I can't wait to read it into the record tomorrow. Fuck you, plaintiffs' counsel. I hate you, and I'm going to mop the floor with you by the end of this case.

Confirmation received. Nasty-gram out!


  1. ooooh, I love it! Man... promise me that you'll say 'fuck you' to counsel in the court room? I would love to be there. I'm not even a lawyer (wannabe or practicing) and I know that you have to give all parties involved in a case any new findings or evidence, etc. Oh well, maybe you can get in some good shopping at the Spectrum when you're in the OC.
    Open up that can (whip-ass) while your driving the 405/55/5!

  2. oooh, ooh... please (when the case is over) tell me who Ms Thang is? I hate that you can't discuss a case while it's in progress (damn.judicial.system.)

  3. Oooo..

    Kick some ass tomorrow!!

    You'll be in my stomping grounds.. it aint so bad =)

  4. "He's not just an asshole. He's a stupid asshole." i cannot WAIT to use that line.

    So are we having the East Coast Blog Party in June?

  5. You're one bad ass WeezerMonkey...

  6. You're a scary monkey when you get crossed. ;) I know you'll mop the floor with his stupid asshole ass. Love it.

  7. i LOVE it when bitchy monkey comes out to play. :)

    have fun mopping the floor with him tomorrow!

  8. this is good stuff right hear, i love it...and you can tell the haole to go fcuk himself for me too...hahaha

  9. i want to kick the stupid asshole in the penis.

  10. you're such a rockstar!!! I'm scared of you Weezermonkey! Kick some ass...although at this point in the day, I'm hoping you did it already!

  11. Nicely done, WeeMo! You are my hero :)

  12. "Jigga what?"

    This is so my new catchphrase.

    Looking forward to hearing about the floor-mopping. :)

  13. Wow that was cool to read! Nothing like letting loose!!

  14. you're too funny. you talk law like i talk football.

  15. What a jerk!! I <3 that you sent your nasty-gram to all parties!


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