As some of you may have gleaned from the nonsense I posted yesterday, Day Two as a Lady of Leisure was not that enjoyable, at least not until nighttime. I'll do another little schedule for you.
08:30 Wake up.
09:30 Drive to new workplace.
09:47 Arrive at new workplace. Fill out paperwork.
10:30 Continue to fill out damn paperwork.
11:00 The amount of paperwork is insane.
11:30 What is this place? The CIA? Ah, yes. Maybe my new job is with the CIA.
11:45 Realize I don't know where the hell my social security card is. Fuck.
12:00 Leave workplace to go home to charge dead phone. Stupid me.
12:19 Eat Taiwanese meatball for lunch. Mmm.
12:45 Phone is slightly charged. Rush back out.
13:07 Arrive at health clinic. Ask if I may further charge my phone. I may. Yay.
13:25 Name is called.
13:36 Wash hands. Technician who looks like Santa Claus hands me a cup.
13:37 Pee in cup. Marvel at my great aim. Set cup on floor. Pee more in toilet.
13:39 Hand cup to Santa Claus, who remarks that I have lots of pee. Wash up.
13:43 Drive to nearest Social Security Office.
13:53 Arrive at remarkably close Social Security Office.
13:55 Get number. Sit down.
14:01 Notice nearby outlet in wall. Plug phone in to charge some more.
14:09 Security guard says, "Stop that. Will you reimburse the government?"
14:10 "With all due respect, sir, we all pay taxes for this office's services."
14:11 Guard stares and scowls for what seems an eternity. "Unplug it, ma'am."
14:12 Monkey is pissed more about the "ma'am" than about having to unplug.
14:30 Woman starts bitching only "people from Asia" are helped in the office.
14:31 Give woman a dirty look.
14:32 Contemplate ways to smack woman in head non-chalantly.
14:40 So fucking bored. Browse Internet and e-mails on iPhone.
14:55 Security guard bellows, "Turn it off. Can't you read?"
14:56 Glance at sign that says, "Turn off cell phones." Protest, "But it's silent."
14:57 "Turn it off."
14:58 "Isn't the point of the rule not to bother others? I'm being quiet."
14:59 "Turn it off."
15:00 Seethe with hatred of the guard. I want to kick him in the penis.
15:01 Number is called. Finally.
15:02 Replacement card is ordered. Receipt is printed. Drive back to workplace.
15:12 Give workplace receipt.
15:13 Workplace says it needs receipt with my SSN on it. Look at receipt. ARGH.
15:15 Drive back to Hell.
15:25 Arrive at Hell. Security guard stares at me. I hate him. Feeling is mutual.
15:26 Get number. Sit down. Again.
15:46 Nice lady who helped me before notices me and calls me up.
15:47 Go to window, while being glared at by everybody else still waiting.
15:48 Nice lady fixes the receipt and faxes it directly to workplace.
15:49 Give security guard the finger. Ok, that was just in my head.
15:50 Sit in car and wonder whether I should go home or start driving to dinner.
16:15 Stuck in traffic on a small random freeway with heavy construction.
16:25 Pass exit for home. Decide to journey on to dinner at the country club.
17:25 Exit the freeway to the country club.
17:26 Keep driving aimlessly down the street to pass time.
17:36 Still driving aimlessly.
17:46 Realize I am driving aimlessly. Turn around to go to the country club.
17:56 Run into Target to pick up some conditioner.
18:05 Arrive at the country club, and hope that R is not already there.
18:18 R arrives. It's hard to find the club in the dark.
22:00 We finally leave the club. Yes, we talked for nearly four hours! So fun!
22:45 Arrive home. Take a shower. Lounge about in PJs.
04:00 Go to sleep. I am a bumbling idiotic insomniac.
Thank you, R, for making the end of my not-so-great day just the opposite!
Today has been far more pleasant, at least so far. It started off much earlier than I'd planned.
At 8:30 a.m., my new workplace called me. WTF?! Isn't there some rule that you don't call people before 9:00 a.m.? More specifically, there is a rule that you don't call the Monkey before 11:00 a.m. on her days of leisure.
The woman told me I had to do my drug testing again. Apparently, yesterday's sample was "too diluted."
I asked, "What does that mean?"
She replied, "I don't know."
I said, "Well, that's not very helpful. I guess I have to dehydrate myself today."
Then she said something else. I mumbled something, and then I hung up. After all, I went to sleep at 4 a.m.
I woke up again around 11ish, checked my e-mail, and solidified lunch plans with some old co-workers who'd missed my last day. Bootcamper had to file a motion for summary judgment on Monday. Talksa was out of the office for a remote court appearance or depo. Cheeks was in Mexico. BPLJ and Pescado joined us, too.
I had a crepe, of course. It's Thursday! But the culinary highlight of lunch was trying more flavors of moonpillows. They have a website now, too. Hooray! It's still in the nascent stages, but at least it's up and running. I am excited for them to grow. Tiffany (the mastermind behind moonpillows) is so cool. She even remembered my name from the last time I bought mochi truffles!