As some of you may have gleaned from the nonsense I posted yesterday, Day Two as a Lady of Leisure was not that enjoyable, at least not until nighttime. I'll do another little schedule for you.
08:30 Wake up.
09:30 Drive to new workplace.
09:47 Arrive at new workplace. Fill out paperwork.
10:30 Continue to fill out damn paperwork.
11:00 The amount of paperwork is insane.
11:30 What is this place? The CIA? Ah, yes. Maybe my new job is with the CIA.
11:45 Realize I don't know where the hell my social security card is. Fuck.
12:00 Leave workplace to go home to charge dead phone. Stupid me.
12:19 Eat Taiwanese meatball for lunch. Mmm.
12:45 Phone is slightly charged. Rush back out.
13:07 Arrive at health clinic. Ask if I may further charge my phone. I may. Yay.
13:25 Name is called.
13:36 Wash hands. Technician who looks like Santa Claus hands me a cup.
13:37 Pee in cup. Marvel at my great aim. Set cup on floor. Pee more in toilet.
13:39 Hand cup to Santa Claus, who remarks that I have lots of pee. Wash up.
13:43 Drive to nearest Social Security Office.
13:53 Arrive at remarkably close Social Security Office.
13:55 Get number. Sit down.
14:01 Notice nearby outlet in wall. Plug phone in to charge some more.
14:09 Security guard says, "Stop that. Will you reimburse the government?"
14:10 "With all due respect, sir, we all pay taxes for this office's services."
14:11 Guard stares and scowls for what seems an eternity. "Unplug it, ma'am."
14:12 Monkey is pissed more about the "ma'am" than about having to unplug.
14:30 Woman starts bitching only "people from Asia" are helped in the office.
14:31 Give woman a dirty look.
14:32 Contemplate ways to smack woman in head non-chalantly.
14:40 So fucking bored. Browse Internet and e-mails on iPhone.
14:55 Security guard bellows, "Turn it off. Can't you read?"
14:56 Glance at sign that says, "Turn off cell phones." Protest, "But it's silent."
14:57 "Turn it off."
14:58 "Isn't the point of the rule not to bother others? I'm being quiet."
14:59 "Turn it off."
15:00 Seethe with hatred of the guard. I want to kick him in the penis.
15:01 Number is called. Finally.
15:02 Replacement card is ordered. Receipt is printed. Drive back to workplace.
15:12 Give workplace receipt.
15:13 Workplace says it needs receipt with my SSN on it. Look at receipt. ARGH.
15:15 Drive back to Hell.
15:25 Arrive at Hell. Security guard stares at me. I hate him. Feeling is mutual.
15:26 Get number. Sit down. Again.
15:46 Nice lady who helped me before notices me and calls me up.
15:47 Go to window, while being glared at by everybody else still waiting.
15:48 Nice lady fixes the receipt and faxes it directly to workplace.
15:49 Give security guard the finger. Ok, that was just in my head.
15:50 Sit in car and wonder whether I should go home or start driving to dinner.
16:15 Stuck in traffic on a small random freeway with heavy construction.
16:25 Pass exit for home. Decide to journey on to dinner at the country club.
17:25 Exit the freeway to the country club.
17:26 Keep driving aimlessly down the street to pass time.
17:36 Still driving aimlessly.
17:46 Realize I am driving aimlessly. Turn around to go to the country club.
17:56 Run into Target to pick up some conditioner.
18:05 Arrive at the country club, and hope that R is not already there.
18:18 R arrives. It's hard to find the club in the dark.
22:00 We finally leave the club. Yes, we talked for nearly four hours! So fun!
22:45 Arrive home. Take a shower. Lounge about in PJs.
04:00 Go to sleep. I am a bumbling idiotic insomniac.
Thank you, R, for making the end of my not-so-great day just the opposite!
Today has been far more pleasant, at least so far. It started off much earlier than I'd planned.
At 8:30 a.m., my new workplace called me. WTF?! Isn't there some rule that you don't call people before 9:00 a.m.? More specifically, there is a rule that you don't call the Monkey before 11:00 a.m. on her days of leisure.
The woman told me I had to do my drug testing again. Apparently, yesterday's sample was "too diluted."
I asked, "What does that mean?"
She replied, "I don't know."
I said, "Well, that's not very helpful. I guess I have to dehydrate myself today."
Then she said something else. I mumbled something, and then I hung up. After all, I went to sleep at 4 a.m.
I woke up again around 11ish, checked my e-mail, and solidified lunch plans with some old co-workers who'd missed my last day. Bootcamper had to file a motion for summary judgment on Monday. Talksa was out of the office for a remote court appearance or depo. Cheeks was in Mexico. BPLJ and Pescado joined us, too.
I had a crepe, of course. It's Thursday! But the culinary highlight of lunch was trying more flavors of moonpillows. They have a website now, too. Hooray! It's still in the nascent stages, but at least it's up and running. I am excited for them to grow. Tiffany (the mastermind behind moonpillows) is so cool. She even remembered my name from the last time I bought mochi truffles!
I am so frustrated just reading about your day :-\ReplyDelete
whee for pee!ReplyDelete
I was "too diluted" three times (!) a couple jobs ago. So damn frustrating!ReplyDelete
10:00am Clean my dungeonReplyDelete
10:15am Choose pretty outfit for Precious
10:18am Tell Precious she is a "very bad doggy!"
10:40am Experiment with gender identity 11:00am Apologize to Precious and give her a make-up-hug
I can't believe the feking security guard was giving you shit for using electricity!ReplyDelete
I saw Santa today, too! At the CVS near my house. He was buying moisturizer.ReplyDelete
Day 2 annoyed me!ReplyDelete
I love your Transformers T and CW pics. :) Boo to the rest of the bad day!ReplyDelete
although it was frustrating for you, it was fun as hell to read about it. :) are you really working for the CIA???ReplyDelete
LOve that the co workers were in stuffy clothes and you were in your tee.ReplyDelete
Hope you weren't too diluted today!ReplyDelete
Ok... first that was the most non-leisure day EVER.ReplyDelete
Insane of you to remember what time you peed. But even more insane is that you pee, then set up on floor.
I've always done the pee a little, then put in in stream (so to finish in the cup). Funny how we all peed differently and yet so uniquely ;)
I love this post. It reads like a bad time sheet. :)ReplyDelete
is it bad that after all that, the only thing i really want to comment on is the moonpillows?ReplyDelete