Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Lady of Leisure, Day Two (Not Really)

I'm so tired. So not a leisurely day today, but at least the end was good.

In an attempt to be a more positive person, I suppose another plus was that I was on the move much of the day, so my butt wasn't glued to the left cushion of my living room couch like it was yesterday.

Maybe I'll even hop on the elliptical soon. Tonight, despite being worn, I can't sleep and have this weird restless energy. I know. It doesn't make sense.

It makes even less sense that I've been doing my old tae kwon do moves while watching recorded ANTM, Gossip Girl, Project Runway, and Kid Nation. It's 2:48 a.m., and, for some strange reason, I'm reliving my pathetic yellow belt days.

Hey, cut me some slack re the lame-o yellow belt. My mom sent me to tae kwon do because I was fat, not because she was concerned with my abilities to defend myself. I was the ugly, slow, roly-poly girl with whom no one ever wanted to spar. And there were such cute boys in my class, too. They were not very nice to me. Understatement of all time. Oof. It still makes me sad to think about it today.

Hmm. To watch or not to watch Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money, and Kitchen Nightmares? That is the question.

Mr. Monkey asked me around midnight, "So what time are you going to bed? 4? 5?" He knows me and my crazy ways so well. God bless him. This, coming from a Buddhist. Ok, who am I kidding? I'm not even a real practicing Buddhist, except for when I light the incense sticks and bow a few times when we visit the grave of Mr. Monkey's mom. Sham. I am a fraud. Faux Buddhist. It's sadder than faux fur. Well, actually it's not. Real fur is sadder than both.

I hate Faulkner. I hate ridiculous stream-of-consciousness. I hate this. But I sort of love my own version. Paradox.

I started this a little before midnight and just left the window open.


What a day. I can't even organize my thoughts about the madness of today's events. All I can do is talk about the humiliation of fat-childhood-martial-arts trauma.

Perhaps I'll attempt to recap tomorrow. There were definitely some gems today. I peed in a cup, which Santa Claus sealed. I verbally bitch-slapped a rent-a-cop. I drove aimlessly down a major busy street for nearly 30 minutes before realizing I was totally day-dreaming and not paying attention to what the fuck I was doing.

And then I had a four-hour dinner with a good friend. It's amazing how time flies when you're with a dear pal.

It kind of reminded me of what I sometimes did in college. I'd bring a bunch of books to "study" in the dining hall in the morning and then just sit there until dark. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. I'd sit through the meals of about nine or ten different groups of friends. Good times. Bad grades.

I think I'll watch Kitchen Nightmares now.


  1. Sometimes I wonder if what I miss most about college is the Dining Hall - not the food, but the marathon meals where we'd sit at a table and several groups of people would come and go, but we would still be there ... Oh, the good old days!

  2. This post cracked me up for so many reasons. I hope you were able to slumber, my restless friend.

  3. I think this is my favorite post ever. You are like a stress junkie going into withdrawals after being checked into rehab. I hope the nervous energy went away and you got some sleep!

  4. your restlessness doesn't surprise me. you're bored!!!

  5. I love lazy afternoons. Just me and Precious (and, course, my butterflies!)

  6. Sorry you couldn't sleep last night, I know how that goes :( But I like this post, which was a result of your restlessness!

  7. I like this post. I like streams of consciousness. You rock on with your peeing in a cup talent. I usually get at least some on my hand.

  8. this made me were so random like I can be too. haha! I hope you get some sleep tonight!

  9. - even though i don't usually have problems sleeping, i stay up all night doing the randomest shit once in awhile.

    - i hate faulkner but love journaling in stream-of-consciousness.

    - i didn't know you knew tae kwon do. cool monkey! kind of. yellow belt. =X. but then again, i don't know any martial arts.

    - sounds like my entire freshman year, that "studying" and eating and socializing thing.

    - i've overshot my destination by as much 30 miles because i was daydreaming. it happens a lot more often than i'd care to admit. oops.

  10. Maybe you need to go to rehab. Just sayin'.

  11. This post is definitely going in to the WeezerMonkey Blog Hall of Fame. Classic! I seriously hope you had a nap at some point recently!

  12. dude, the yellow belt/cute boys/not very nice to you made me so very sad :(


    because i can relate. except mine was just at regular old school, not even something cool like tae kwon do.


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