Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Too Little, Too Late

Since I gave notice on Friday, all sorts of people at work have stopped by my office, called, sent e-mails, and left voicemails congratulating me, wishing me luck, and...well...kissing my ass.

Yes, kissing my ass.

It's really quite incredible how transparent people are. I'll get to that later.

Obviously, I really appreciate the sincere words. Talksa has fretted, "What am I going to do without you, Monkey?!" T-West left me a little post-it with a sad face that said, "I miss you already!" Perfecta actually shed a few tears, which got me a little choked up, too. BPLJ is naturally a bit dejected, as we've worked together for seven years now. And Pescado has literally gone from office to office, "auditioning" candidates to be his new work-BFF. (I got the part after B-Dawg left earlier this year -- to say the least, 2007 has not been easy for Pescado.)

In an e-mail to me and to King George regarding the conclusion of my work on her cases, Rhodes wrote:
I've so appreciated the quality of your work and cheerful spirit. You will be missed.
King George responded:
Monkey is the best. The Firm wishes you well. Thanks for all your great work.
It's amazing how much these few words meant. People just aren't very free with praise in law firms. Perhaps if I'd heard stuff like this more often, I wouldn't have considered looking for a new job.

So, for those of you who have been awesome to me from start to finish, I dedicate this card to you:

And now...on to the disingenuous!

You people are really something. I got a few e-mails and visits from randoms who said how much they would miss me. Really? Really?! You haven't spoken 10 words to me in over three years, you fakers. You think some last-minute buttering up is going to convince me to send you business? How stupid do you think I am? Get in line, and dream on. You're #3,748 after all the people I actually like and all the people who have treated me well from day one.

This is the card you deserve:

Maybe, if you send me this card, I might reconsider:

Nope. Not likely. Still not enough. Too little, too late, folks!

If you like any of these cards, check out this site. Pretty cool stuff.


  1. I hear you completely when you mentioned not getting enough praise in the workplace. I pride myself on my strong work ethics and when I see others I work with that do not have ANY work ethics, and I am putting so much energy, it is so disheartening. If I ever move into management, I will remind myself daily that it is the hard work of those below me that make my job a possibility.

  2. I remember watching people at my old jobs buttering up random people as they were leaving, but in more of a "take me with you!" sort of effort.

    You may find some of these ecards useful: http://www.someecards.com/upload/workplace/index.html?ep=27

  3. Those cards are just too precious for words :)

  4. Hard to say which card I like best, but the Your Rad one is really cool for the peeps who deserve it. Damn the others.

  5. tee hee. i am glad you found a use for these cards, even if just the e-version.

    lucky for me, my boss is good at the praise thing. one reason i've stayed so long. it's been less often lately, though, which may explain part of my restlessness. or maybe i am slacking and don't deserve it. ;)

  6. love.it!

    it's amazing how a little praise now and again can go such a long way. and it's amazing how fake people can be too.

  7. LOVE the cards! and I so know what you mean...when I left my last company, the bosses were saying how they would miss me terribly and how I was such an amazing asset to the company. Oh yeah, a real big asset. Yet everytime I would ask for a raise, it just wasn't in the "budget" at the time. BULLsh*T!!!!! Anyway, congrats again! You are RAD!

  8. Doesn't Hallmark ALWAYS say it best?! ;)

  9. oh man. if life was just about funny sarcastic cards and virtual hair makeovers, i'd be the happiest goober alive!

  10. OMG where did you find these cards?!?! I must get a set!


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