The answers in my head include the following:
- Mr. Monkey and I are a family, thank you very much.
- None of your damn business.
- I'm not really a fan of babies or children.
- I prefer spending money on travel and shoes.
- Maybe never.
Don't ask people this question. Not everyone is mother material.
Many people wrongly assume that, because I now have a job with more regular hours, I'm gearing up to be a mommy.
No, I'm gearing up to be more sane.
And, frankly, my sanity doesn't include children any time soon. Or at all.
I'm only two years away from "senior attorney" status at work. This is sort of my company's equivalent of partnership. Am I going to fuck that up by spawning?
If kids are in our future -- and that's a big "if" -- they're not coming into the picture until I have that new title on my business cards, that vaunted special parking spot, and stock options.
And only then will I even contemplate procreating.
Until then, shut the fuck up about babies, ok?