One event I really loved at my old firm was our annual firm retreat. I had some really great times at those retreats. Today marks the first day of the CIA's "off-site." I hope it will be just as fun.
Behold the hotel grounds.
Lots of flowers, especially orchids.
Eastern European Woman: You wax your lip?
Monkey: Uh, no.
Eastern European Woman: You want to wax?
Monkey: Uh, no.
And now I am a bit self-conscious about looking like Groucho Marx.
But not enough to do anything about it. It's a tough battle sometimes, but my frugality usually triumphs over my vanity. Good for my checkbook, bad for the general public who has to look at my damn mustache.
Here's where I was informed I have a facial hair problem.
After changing out of my cupcake t-shirt and flip-flops, I headed to cocktail hour, where I noshed on small bites and learned of our upcoming dinner activity.
What the hell is "saughter"? Ugh.
If you haven't guessed already, we had a murder mystery dinner. I shit you not. At least I liked everybody at my table. Unrelatedly, it was revealed tonight that Whipping Boy worked at Wienerschnitzel for over a year, so I hereby decree that he shall henceforth be known as Wienerdude.
Wienerdude > Whipping Boy. No doubt.
Question: Who is redder? A sunburned Wienerdude or a slightly tipsy Purell?
Answer: A sunburned Wienerdude!
Dinner was reminiscent of what you get at a wedding reception.
But this part was not wedding-like. Say it with me, folks -- I see dead people.
This picture speaks for itself.
I was given this magnifying glass as a prize for being the victim of public humiliation and a totally inappropriate racial quip.
Because a free toy magnifying glass makes everything better.
For the slow readers out there, this is called sarcasm. S-A-R-C-A-S-M. Got it? Carry on.
We entertained ourselves while the game wore on. Some even contemplated snorting lines of crushed Smarties.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Then we headed to the hospitality suite. I played a few rounds of DDR Extreme with Purell. I really suck at this game, but it was free! Whee!
Dorkiness + Luxury = Good End to the Day