Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Zero Marketable Skills

If I didn't do what I currently do, what could I do? I don't really have any marketable skills, and my few [questionable] talents don't really translate into careers.

So-Called Talents:
(1) Doing well on standardized tests.
(2) Remembering names and faces.
(3) Making people laugh. (Sometimes.)
(4) Writing. (Maybe.)
(5) Gaining weight. (I keep getting better and better at this one.)

Please let me know if you hear of a job opening for a fat clown to teach essay-writing skills at The Princeton Review. Thank you.


  1. message board moderator! :)

  2. Paid blogger :) Start listing ads :)

  3. I'm confused. What happened to your "other" job as a wedding vendor? Doesn't that pay the bills?

    I've brainstormed and come up with a veritable cornucopia of job ideas for you:
    1) Professional SAT taker. Sure its shady. Sure its illegal. But you're in LA and can make quite a killing taking the SAT for spoiled rich Beverly Hills kids.

    2)Professional Line-Up Identifier. With your canny ability to remember names and faces you should apply to the LAPD. We all know most of the suspects are set up by the 5-0 anyway. But once you "identify" them, the Po Po will feel better about locking them away.

    3) Professional best friend. Those hollywood heroines you're oh so interested in are always complaining that they don't have any real friends. Well, for a fee YOU could be the best friend they never had. Shopping, gossiping, sleeping with their boyfriends - you could do it all!

    4) Hand Model. Oh yeah, we've ALL seen the picture of your nails on your wedding day.

    5) Irate "letter to the editor" writer (I don't think that pays that much)

    6)Website reviewer (see above)

    7)Look into getting sponsorship for competitive kareoke

    8)Television executive (actually, I think you might be overqualified for this position)

    9)Write a self-help book

    10)Pinkberry taster

  4. Kate, did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I would like to be?

  5. Kate cam also fly higher tham am eagle. She is the wimd bemeath my wimgs.


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