If I didn't do what I currently do, what could I do? I don't really have any marketable skills, and my few [questionable] talents don't really translate into careers.
(1) Doing well on standardized tests.
(2) Remembering names and faces.
(3) Making people laugh. (Sometimes.)
(4) Writing. (Maybe.)
(5) Gaining weight. (I keep getting better and better at this one.)
Please let me know if you hear of a job opening for a fat clown to teach essay-writing skills at The Princeton Review. Thank you.